TV Series

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Howard is only too happy to announce his plans with Bernadette to the world, since he finally has a girlfriend at Valentine’s Day. Or as Sheldon puts it, Howard is flaunting a positional good, which is an object only valued by the possessor since nobody else possesses it. It was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch, replacing the old term “neener-neener.” He is taking Bernadette for the $39.95 Lovers’ Special at P.F. Chang’s. No coupon required. Of course, Sheldon must wonder why Howard would take Bernadette out on a night that celebrates a 3rd century saint who was stoned and beheaded. But that still beats Raj’s imitation of Diane Lane from “Must Love Dogs,” since he plans to spend the holiday eating rotisserie chicken over the sink. Leonard has the best news: he’s going to Switzerland to observe the Hadron Collider at the CERN Laboratory. Sheldon is beyond ecstatic, so much so that he didn’t bother questioning why Leonard would get such an honor. Of course, Sheldon is assuming that Leonard will take him as his Plus 1 instead of Penny. Leonard has an awkward situation when he gets home.

Sure enough, Sheldon can’t handle it.

SHELDON: But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research!

LEONARD: Yes, but it will be Valentine’s Day. We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snow-capped Alps!

SHELDON: But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research! I’ve been dreaming of seeing the Large Hadron Collider since I was 9!

LEONARD: Well, I’ve been dreaming of spending Valentine’s Day with a girl since I was 6!

Leonard brings items to give Penny clues on where they’re going, but apparently the Swiss Cheese cut by the Swiss Army Knife and the fondue set aren’t enough. Leonard tells her they’re going to see the CERN Lab Supercollider in Switzerland! (and ski and sightsee, too) THEN she gets excited. And then Sheldon whips out the Roommate agreement. And SOMEHOW (because it makes for a funny plot device), there is a clause in there stating one roommate must take the other if one of them gets invited to the CERN Supercollider.

PENNY: Wait! Isn’t there anything in there if a roommate gets a girlfriend?

SHELDON: That seemed too far-fetched.

Sheldon maintains he has lived up to his end of the bargain thus far, including asking how Leonard is doing at least once a day, not staging mock biohazard drills after 10PM and not practicing Tuvan throat singing. Leonard isn’t backing down, so Sheldon starts on the Tuvan throat singing. To Sheldon, Leonard is a bigger traitor than Judas, who at least had the decency to hang himself for what he did, Darth Vader, Benedict Arnold, and Rupert Murdoch, who owns Fox, the network that cancelled “Firefly.”

And the war is on. And the Frodo-shaped pancakes are the first salvo! Actually, Sheldon is attempting to catch more flies with honey than with vinegar by making Leonard breakfast in bed and suggesting they watch “Babylon 5″ with director’s commentary, even though he hates it. It still doesn’t work; Leonard isn’t taking him to Switzerland. Sheldon takes the pancakes away and attempts his next target: Penny. Penny is treated to a PowerPoint presentation for her about why his the more appropriate choice to go. He has images of himself and Penny, and of the Supercollider and Bath & Body Works. Now let’s match the person to where they should be…

Penny puts her foot down and insists it is Leonard’s decision and he chose her. Sheldon walks meekly away and hopes Penny appreciates the place she’ll get to see that he’s been dreaming of for years. She finally relents and says she’ll talk to Leonard. Sheldon thanks her, and even hugs her. Although he needs help in knowing when to stop. However, Leonard puts his foot down and says Sheldon isn’t going. This dissolves the “friendship clause” in their agreement; thus Sheldon will never take Leonard as his guest when Bill Gates invites him to go swimming. Leonard and Penny are excited to go, until Penny catches the flu. Now Sheldon can go, and he’ll pack as soon as he’s done vomiting and hocking up his Swiss breakfast. Sheldon is perplexed on how he got the flu…until he remembered he hugged Penny.

But all is not lost: Leonard and Raj get the beautiful room. And the chocolates and the champagne Leonard bought.

RAJ: This is going to be the best Valentine’s Day ever!